DickWeed

No excuses as to why I haven't written, I've been a lazy bitch and I got my groove back. Let's just dive in to what you want to read about, this hilarious story about me and my fiancee!

Being that we live in California, weed is legal. If you don't live here let me explain how it works. All you need is your ID to prove you are of age to purchase. (I don't remember if it's 18 or 21 because I'm an old bitch and whichever age it is doesn't matter to me cause I can buy it either way and so can my man) Find a cannabis shop, show your ID and buy away. If you are a new customer you need to fill out some information to put in their system (I'm assuming, they are all sketchy and all have young ass millennials being try hards selling you the weed)

We purchased a few things. I have a Stiizy so I got a cartridge, Matt got 7 grams of weed, and we got a pack of edibles. Now, I have been traumatized by edibles before and was slightly jaded, however I knew in moderation it would be fine and I would be home with my man so no harm no foul. I do not remember if they were sativa or indica but those things were really fucking strong.

Once home, we unpack the goodies and I was excited to try the edibles since it has been so long since I've had one. These edibles were small. They were gummies that had indicated lines of where to cut the square jelly, but you had to separate it yourself. So my excited ass happily took 3 small cut pieces. As a typical response a few minutes in I tell Matt "I can't feel shit. Maybe these aren't that strong" Don't worry I resist from taking more because I knew eventually I'd be flying in my house.

About 30 minutes pass now and yep, I feel the head change and it felt great. As I was high as a cloud, Matt was cooking dinner. Now, let me inform you. Matt is a pothead. He smokes almost every night so when I do get really high, he knows how to take care of me. Moving on, dinner was ready and I felt like I was hearing everything he said at a super slow pace. Y'all know exactly what I mean. So, after eating I went to bed to lay down since my head was higher than I ever remember. I think I fell asleep for a bit, Matt cleaned up after dinner and then came to join me in bed.

Here is where it gets good!

I wake up, still in a fog and he wants to get it on. Fuck it, we start kissing and making out. He then tells me he wants some head. Since I love to please, I gladly went down south. I started sucking his dick and had moments of nodding without realizing it. Allow me to explain, I started falling asleep with his dick in my mouth mid suck. This went on for about 5 minutest straight. The reason it went on so long is because I didn't realize I was falling asleep since I was so high, and it took him a minute to notice too. Just imagine *sucking up and down, up and down, up and down, slowly stop with mouth open, wake up and keep sucking* this happened repeatedly for 5 minutes.

Now for those who don't know Matt, he's Korean. That information matters for what I am about to tell you that he said. So here is how are dialogue played out while I was nodding off on his dick.

Me: *after realizing I kept falling asleep* baby, I'm tired. I wanna just sleep

Matt: damn baby okay, holy shit you are more chinky eyed than me!

*both laughing hysterically*

I have to say it's amazing to find someone who I can truly be myself around, and be able to blog about when funny shit happens.

If you're still reading my posts after my disappearances, thank you so much! Love, Vaga!