Did Someone Order Blue Balls?

Now here's a story I can't wait to share. Settle down and grab some popcorn...

So living with my boyfriend has been amazing. It's been a month since I've moved in and we have amazing sex. One day after work we decided to grab a drink. We went to our local bar, had a beer and then across the street for some hard liquor. I also left the initial bar because my ex bestie was meeting up with my friend (the bartender) to buy something and I don't have to act like I respect her bullshit reasons so, my man and I bounced.

Side note: the bars we go to regularly are right across the street from each other. One only sells beer, and the other has both beer and hard liquor. Both have different atmospheres and great bartenders.

So as we sat down to order something that would get our mind off the day we had, we figured why not focus on each other. You see, working and living with your spouse can take a lot of work. Luckily for us it hasn't been an issue and we handle it pretty well. Yes we get annoyed with each other, but so do normal couples in a healthy relationship. Moving on, we are broke and should head home rather than order another drink. We make our way out the door, to the car and home. Once we get in the house, he makes it very clear that Vaga will fall asleep a happy Vaga.

Another side note: my skin around Vaga is really sensitive. Meaning if I wear the same pants all day, my skin gets severely irritated and slightly welts up. It becomes sensitive to the touch and no fun comes out of it. Mind you I had gone to work then straight to the bar, so my skin was pretty sensitive.

Vaga gets exposed in all her glory and relaxes the instant she feels the warmth of his tongue try to devour her. He eats that shit up as if its Korean BBQ. And who doesn't love some brisket after a night of drinking?? Vaga is crying with satisfaction and lets it all go, she's completely in her element and loves every second of it. After she has had her fun, it's time for me to return the favor. Everyone knows how much I love to please my man.

He lays down and my mouth teases him where he can't control it. Actively acting as if I'm going to devour him, but not before I make him squirm, just a little before I please him. And this mouth loves the way he tastes, making sure to lick every inch and below. That's right, give the balls a lot of lovin too. (this varies by preference but he loves it and so do I)

After that foreplay it's time for Vaga's favorite part, penetration. He gets on top, and Vaga is again in heaven. Missionary is amazing when the sex is passionate. After missionary we switch to doggy, now remember how I said my skin is super irritated? Well with all the juices flowing we had to stop. Our sex juices started to burn my skin and I couldn't hang, so we stopped.

Well, here is where it gets really good. He told me he was going to take care of himself and jack off. My still semi drunk ass decided to take on the challenge. So I'm in the shower and he's on the toilet, what do I do? I spray him with the shower head that has cold water and I start laughing. Once I'm in the shower he is still in the bathroom and I'm saying stupid shit to make him lose focus. So he leaves and decides to try and relax himself while in bed.

We live in a small backhouse and the bathroom is like 4 feet away from the bed. This means whatever I am yelling can clearly be heard. Again, what do I do? I start making obscene animal noises and singing stupid songs that I just made up. Remember I'm doing all of this while he is trying to jack off. I know I'm such a bitch, but that's why you love me! Continuing on, I get out of the shower and he is mad. I'm still laughing and I ask "feel better?" he goes "fuck no, I started laughing when you made those damn animal noises!"

It's now his turn to shower and I finally leave him alone. When he gets out of the shower I'm surely thinking that he finally did it. Nope. He tells me "my balls fucking hurt and I couldn't manage to finish" I laughed and said "I'm sorry, damn you are mad at me huh?" he goes "yea, I am mad" then a thought rushes through my mind and I try not to say anything. Again I end up laughing and say "you know what I'm not gonna even say it, ignore me" he goes "what?" I said "nothing never mind" he goes " no tell me, what is it?" I finally said, through uncontrollable laughter "Can I blog about this?!" He was quiet for a minute and let out a very unsatisfied 'yes'.

So thank the man of the hour, my boyfriend for this hilarious story that I'm sure other couples have done to each other.

I love you baby!